Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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