I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom said you looked used
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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