I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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