you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize