How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize