i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize