i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize