you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
A+ Viking dick
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize