I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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