Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize