i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize