i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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