She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
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you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
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It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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