i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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