I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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