Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
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There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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