oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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