my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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