Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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