i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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