Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize