i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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