Where did you get a picture of my penis
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I didn't notice because vodka
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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