Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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