cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize