He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
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You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
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She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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