it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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