who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You ate ashes out of my bong
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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