Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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