Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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