and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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