Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize