tell your sister to shave her snatch
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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