I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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