Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize