so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
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So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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