Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize