Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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