how can u be prego again
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize