I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I want a musical about memes.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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