Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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