Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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