i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize