Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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