we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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