Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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