when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize