Everything about him screamed your future.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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