Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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