we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
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She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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